Are you and your spouse fighting all the time over little things?

Maybe it's the confusion over why the fights keep happening,  or perhaps it's feeling stuck in the shame, guilt, and other difficult emotions that come up when you can't figure out how to fix the marriage. You may be feeling misunderstood, or simply just lost as to what is  going on with the fights. Perhaps you’re even feeling worried that you've failed, or somehow ruined the marriage beyond repair. 

Whatever it is that you’re experiencing, you’re beginning to notice the impact of this on your life:

• Even your quality time turns into fighting over little things.
  
• You shut down and pull away when your partner doesn't understand you.
  
• You try to do a lot of activities together to try to generate closeness but it doesn't seem to work.
  
• You notice yourself feeling more anxious, depressed, and  hopeless about saving your marriage.
  
• You worry that retirement will end up feeling like roommates instead of the deeper connection you really want. 

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​If this sounds like you, then you are in the right place.

Veteran Couples Counseling can help.

It may feel impossible now, but you can be understood and feel close gain. You can heal from past hurts and betrays. You can fight less, have a good marriage, and enjoy retirement together. And I can help you get there.

Marriage Counseling helps you do 5 things: 

1. Understand each other and how communication gets off track.
2. Stop and slow down fights so you can figure out the core message you are both trying to communicate. 
3. Help you understand each other's emotional experiences and talk at a deeper level.
4. Heal from past hurts and betrays that may still be causing problems years later. 
5. Learn and practice the tools that will help you do things differently at home, so you can feel a deeper sense of connection and closeness in your relationship gain. 

I’ll help through this process, tailoring each step to your unique needs and circumstances. My approach to marriage counseling comes from my training but also from a place of thoroughness: believing that couples make the most improvement when they can get to the deeper roots of the problem. 

In marriage counseling, you'll learn how to understand each other at a deeper level so you can feel relaxed and happy again in your marriage. 

What you'll learn in marriage counseling with me: 

My approach to couples counseling with veteran couples is based on Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), which is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the  American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) with me, we will do a thorough assessment of your relationship, discover your relationships specific strengths and area's for growth, and discuss what makes for emotionally secure relationships

In EFT, we'll deep dive into:

• Discovering the communication pattern you have been caught in that keeps you fighting and feeling distant
• Exploring the underlying emotions and messages that you are trying to share but that get misunderstood
• Changing your communication to be effective and clear communication 
• Enhancing your sexual satisfaction so you can reconnect in an intimate way 
• Building a sense of closeness and connection in your relationship again
• ... and so much more!

Because the impact of military life is unique, there may be times that we break away from the EFT model in order to address some veteran specific challenges that you may be facing as a couple. This may include more solution focused techniques and practical things you can do to navigate any health or mental health concerns.

You don't have to keep fighting. ​

​It's time to understand each other again!

Book your free consultation

FAQ

What are marriage counseling sessions like?

At this time, all sessions are online through zoom. Our first session will be spent getting to know one another, discussing what’s led you to therapy, and giving you an opportunity to ask me questions. Then I will meet with each partner individually to learn about each persons family history, relationship history, and your individual concerns about the relationship. After that, all sessions will be with both partners present.

​Weekly counseling sessions are a combination of conversation, skill building, and communication practice as we talk about your relationship concerns. We'll talk lot about feelings to help you communicate your feelings with each other in a way that will be understood. Through this process you'll be learning tools to use in your day-to-day life. If needed, I'll offer referrals to other disciplines, such as psychiatry, primary care, individual therapy, etc. Most of all, I will hold space for you both to practice open, honest, and kind communication.

What type of marriage counseling to you do?

​I do a type of marriage counseling called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) which is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. 

In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with me, we will do a thorough assessment of your relationship, discover your relationships specific strengths and area's for growth,  and discuss what makes for emotionally secure relationships.

We'll deep dive into:

• Discovering the communication pattern you have been caught in that keeps you fighting and feeling distant
• Exploring the underlying emotions and messages that you are trying to share but that get misunderstood
• Changing your communication to be effective and clear communication ​
• Enhancing your sexual satisfaction so you can reconnect in an intimate way 
• Building a sense of closeness and connection in your relationship again
• ... and so much more!

​

​How long will I need to be in therapy?

I meet with clients weekly and each session lasts for 50 minutes. At this time, all counseling sessions are done online through zoom. It is hard to know how long therapy will take as many things impact how quickly progress can be made. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, it is common for this process to take 1-2 years of weekly therapy. However, if you have experienced significant trauma, abuse, or betrayals in the relationship, this could take longer.  I usually recommend that couples start with 6-months of weekly sessions as a trial period to make sure you are finding this therapy helpful. 

What if I need to reschedule?

Life happens, and I know your calendar can be unpredictable. ​I am happy to reschedule you the week before, during, or after your designated appointment time. My attendance policy is detailed in your intake paperwork and I'm always happy to answer any questions you may have.

​How do I know if marriage counseling will work for me?

There are times when individual therapy may be more appropriate than marriage counseling. These times include:

• Couples in which one or both partners have an active addiction.
• If there is an ongoing affair that hasn't ended yet.
• If being in the same room for a long time is too triggering (potential trauma reaction) or you haven't been able to be in the same space without being civil in a period of time - this format will not be productive.
• If there is active intimate partner violence, this is not an option.​

​Do you take insurance or work with the VA?

I do not take insurance and I am not connected with the VHA or any VA hospital. I am an out-of-network provider, which means that I do not bill insurance. I am happy to offer you the necessary paperwork (superbill) to file with your insurance provider for possible partial or full reimbursement. 

​Please know that not all insurance plans offer reimbursement and that some may have a deductible or an allowable amount. It is best to call the number on the back of your insurance card and speak to a representative about what your specific benefits are. In addition, insurance companies typically only reimburse if the client has a diagnosable mental health condition. I'm happy to talk this through with you at any time.

​What are your rates?

I charge $300 per 50-minute session. ​

​How do we get started?

​​Click on the button below to book your initial 20 minute free consultation to chat with me to see if I am a good fit for your needs. Then we can schedule a thorough getting to know you session, where we explore your unique issues and your hopes for therapy in more depth. I’m really looking forward to hearing from you!

Book your free consultation

As with any psychotherapy, results are not guaranteed.