Has military life impacted your relationship?

Maybe it's the struggle of long distance, or perhaps it's the long work hours and conflicting schedules. You may be feeling distant, or simply just annoyed at the lack of time together. Perhaps you’re even feeling like you married the military instead of your spouse.

Whatever it is that you’re experiencing, you’re beginning to notice the impact of this on your life:

• Fighting more with your spouse.
  
• Having no time just for yourself.
  
• Feeling socially isolated and alone.
  
• Struggling to feel like you have your own life outside of the military.
  
• Worrying about the impact of military life on your kids. 
  

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​If this sounds like you, then you are in the right place.

Military & Veteran Couples Counseling can help.

It may feel impossible now, but you can have a great marriage even while in the military. You can set a positive example for your kids. You can fight less, communicate more, and enjoy each other again. ​And I can help you get there.

Couples Counselng helps you do 4 things: 

1. Identify the underlying patterns in the relationship that keep you stuck.
2. Understand how differences in your personalities and family experiences have impacted your marriage.
3. Help you talk about difficult topics so you both can be understood.
4.  Learn the tools that will help you cope with military or post-military life together, so you can feel like a team in your relationship again.

I’ll help through this process, tailoring each step to your unique needs and circumstances, as well as to how much time you can devote to couples counseling. Whether you can do weekly marriage counseling, or can only meet for a weekend long marriage intensive, we will address your concerns in the time we have.  My approach to marriage counseling comes from my training but also from a place of experience: as a military spouse I get that military life is hard and we all just need a little help to make it through the tough times.

In couples counseling, you'll learn how to communicate in a deeper way so you can enjoy your time together and approach military or post-military life as a team. 

What you'll learn in couples counseling with me: 

My approach to couples counseling with military couples is based on Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), which is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the  American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) with me, we will do a thorough assessment of your relationship, discover your relationships specific strengths and area's for growth, and discuss what makes for emotionally secure relationships

In EFT, we'll deep dive into:

• Discovering the communication pattern you have been caught in that keeps you fighting and feeling distant
• Exploring the underlying emotions and messages that you are trying to share but that get misunderstood
• Changing your communication to be effective and clear communication 
• Rebuilding closeness in the relationship, especially if you've grown distant over deployment 
• Enhancing your sexual satisfaction so you can reconnect in an intimate way 
• Building a sense of security and comfiness in your relationship again
• ... and so much more!

Because military and veteran life is unique, there may be times that we break away from the EFT model in order to address some military or veteran specific challenges that you may be facing as a couple. This may include more solution focused techniques and practical things you can do to navigate military and post-military life together. 

​It's time to feel like a team again. 

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FAQ

I am committed to a non-judgmental experience. I look through a lens that honors what makes us human. We are relational beings, hard wired to connect. What makes us different is where we want to be especially open, curious and never presume we are experts. I welcome all, including sexual orientation, relationship status, age, race, disability, ethnicity/national origin, gender identity and religious/spiritual affiliation.

What are marriage counseling sessions like?

Our first session will be spent getting to know one another, discussing what’s led you to therapy, and giving you an opportunity to ask me questions. Then I will meet with each partner individually to learn about each persons family history, relationship history, and your individual concerns about the relationship. After that, all sessions will be with both partners present.

​Weekly counseling sessions are a combination of conversation, skill building, and communication practice as we talk about your relationship concerns. We'll talk lot about feelings to help you communicate your feelings with each other in a way that will be understood. Through this process you'll be learning tools to use in your day-to-day life. If needed, I'll offer referrals to other disciplines, such as psychiatry, primary care, individual therapy, etc. Most of all, I will hold space for you both to practice open, honest, and kind communication.

What type of marriage counseling to you do?

​I do a type of marriage counseling called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) which is the #1 research-validated relationship therapy and the ONLY couple therapy recommended by the American Psychological Association to help improve relationships. 

In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with me, we will do a thorough assessment of your relationship, discover your relationships specific strengths and area's for growth,  and discuss what makes for emotionally secure relationships.

We'll deep dive into:

• Discovering the communication pattern you have been caught in that keeps you fighting and feeling distant
• Exploring the underlying emotions and messages that you are trying to share but that get misunderstood
• Changing your communication to be effective and clear communication 
• Rebuilding closeness in the relationship, especially if you've grown distant over deployment 
• Enhancing your sexual satisfaction so you can reconnect in an intimate way 
• Building a sense of security and comfiness in your relationship again
• ... and so much more!

​

​How long will I need to be in therapy?

I meet with clients weekly and each session lasts for 50 minutes. It is hard to know how long therapy will take as many things impact how quickly progress can be made. The gold standard for couples counseling is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which often takes takes 1-2 years of weekly therapy. However, many military couples aren't able to commit to such an intensive therapy due to challenges of military life. Whether you can attend for 3 months or only for a weekend long intensive, we will tailor our time together to address you most pressing needs. 

What if I need to reschedule?

Life happens, and I know the nature of your work means your calendar can be unpredictable. While I work with couples on a weekly basis during a day and time that is reserved for you each week, if you need to miss a session I am happy to reschedule you into an open slot during the same week, or doubling up by having two sessions the week before or after your designated appointment time. The financially responsibility is for the equivalent of weekly therapy sessions in order to reserve time on my calendar, and in cases of severe scheduling difficulties, we can do this as a series of weekend intensives. My attendance policy is detailed in your intake paperwork and I'm always happy to answer any questions you may have. 

​How do I know if marriage counseling will work for me?

There are times when individual therapy may be more appropriate than marriage counseling. These times include:

• Couples in which one or both partners have an active addiction.
• If there is an ongoing affair that hasn't ended yet.
• If being in the same room for a long time is too triggering (potential trauma reaction) or you haven't been able to be in the same space without being civil in a period of time - this format will not be productive.
• If there is active intimate partner violence, this is not an option.

Additionally, it is important to know that I can only work with couples where both partners are physically located in states that I am licensed in. Please see the "About Liz" page for a current lists of states where I am licensed. 

​Do you take insurance?

I am an out-of-network provider, which means that I do not bill insurance. I am happy to offer you the necessary paperwork (superbill) to file with your insurance provider for possible partial or full reimbursement. 

​Please know that not all insurance plans offer reimbursement and that some may have a deductible or an allowable amount. It is best to call the number on the back of your insurance card and speak to a representative about what your specific benefits are. A list of questions to ask them is located on the Counseling FAQS page.  It is also good to know that insurance companies typically only reimburse if the client has a diagnosable mental health condition. If you have questions, I'm happy to talk this through with you at any time.

​Medicare: Elizabeth Polinsky and Elizabeth Polinsky Counseling do not participate in any health insurance plans, HMO plans or panels, and cannot accept Medicare in any form. Clients of Elizabeth Polinsky cannot attempt reimbursement of services through Medicare. Services provided by Elizabeth Polinsky are not covered under Medicare and no Medicare payment will be made or accepted for any reason.

​What are your rates?

I charge $300 per 50-minute session. ​

​How do we get started?

​​Click on the button below to book your initial 20 minute free consultation to chat with me to see if I am a good fit for your needs. Then we can schedule a thorough getting to know you session, where we explore your unique issues and your hopes for therapy in more depth. I’m really looking forward to hearing from you!

Book a Consult

As with any psychotherapy, results are not guaranteed.